I like him, I like him not

Oh, It`s a boy

To be honest I can’t remember the last time I didn’t have some type of boy problem. If its not actually about a specific guy, than it`s because I don`t have a guy I even like. I can never go long without some type of boy drama. This should mean that I would be so used to all this drama I would be able to handle it in a good way, but apparently not. I`m blaming the fact that the boy drama I’m used to normally involves me liking a guy who does not reciprocate my feelings. I actually got really hurt by a guy who lead me on, not that long ago, but that`s a story for another time.

Quick background. I meet him first 3 years ago at camp, but didn’t really talk to him after that. I did think he was cool tho, I just didn’t get the vibe that he liked me. Fast forward to 10 days ago, where I meet him at a party. I definitely got thoughts about maybe liking him. We ended up talking for hours and it was really nice. He seemed like a good guy with the same interests I had. Nothing more happened after that, except from one of my friends asking me if I thought he was handsome. That question and what she was insinuating immediately got me to back of, even if i didn’t realise it at the time. I also ended up kissing someone else at the party, but that whole thing just got really awkward.

Max and I started talking on snapchat and face after the party. We’ve talked every day, but I still don`t have strong feelings for him. I`m really unsure if I like him or if I want him as a friend. I`m used to having pretty strong feelings fast, but then again those boys really aren’t working out for me. Another problem is the fact that we`re not in the same school, and so I can’t see him on a regular basis. This also makes it more difficult to arrange something like a date, because I’m a wuss, especially over internet.

My biggest problem is that people are talking. I don`know why, but when someone insinuates something I immediately get the instinct to RUN. Maybe this is because its to early and because I don`t know how I feel yet. However 2 of my fairly good friends have taken it upon them to ask me questions about, if I like him? if anything is going on? and so on. The wort part is that they have information right from the source, because they are good friends of Max, and he has apparently talked about me to them, but that`s all I know about that.

I definitely see the possibility for feelings. I want to talk to him all day, but trying to consider if its worth it for the possibility to be humiliated by the guy and my friends. I need serious help. What should I do?

Is he ever going to get my heart beat, beat, beat?

Just thinking about all the drama ahead gets me scared. I wish you all the best of luck with your current and future boy or girl problems.



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